As I lay in Savasana (corpse pose) after completing my morning yoga this morning, I was practicing putting my attention on the sensations in my body. A slight irritation in my abdominal area took precedence. Breathing slowly, I noticed that the discomfort was dissipating. And as a metaphor for life in general, my mind began to demand that my attention flow elsewhere…saying, “Do you feel that tightness in your chest? Time to put your attention there.” My mind once again trying to take over. I have been practicing putting my mind into my heart, effectively giving my mind a break and my body the attention it so deserves….and respecting the signals my body so beautifully expresses.
And then I had my “Ah Ha” moment…..My body knows what it needs, where attention needs to flow. The cells in my body do not vie with one another for attention. The attention goes where the need is and the flow of the workings of my amazing body goes on and on functioning, repairing, moving and resting. The cells in my body are in harmony, doing their job and making the whole operate as best it can. So, why can’t the cells of society, in other words- the people in a society- function like the cells of our body….IN HARMONY, giving attention to where it needs to go? From the individual (certainly myself included!) and expanding to the family, to communities and to the world, we vie for attention at the expense of the good of the whole, from ourselves to our societies. We have forgotten how to just BE, how to respect the FLOW of life and how to focus on the matter at hand without being pulled in a zillion directions at once.
As soon as my head tried to take over, driving attention from my abdomen to my chest, the natural workings of my body…of its cells…were being asked to switch gear. My abdominal area was speaking to me, asking for its due attention. My chest could wait. I am becoming more aware of how the FEELINGS in my body are to be trusted, not to be interrupted by the thoughts in my mind that suggest another path…..that just may need to wait its turn.
I am learning. I am practicing. I am taking time to observe the feelings in my body and giving them the attention they so deserve. I am noticing that these feelings have corresponding correlates to my life…..What is going on in my life, both good and challenging. What I am concerned or fearful about. What I am resisting. What I need to let go of. And the list goes on. My cells are speaking to me and I must choose to listen to, to observe, what they have to say…..best from my heart and not from my head.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Wherever You Go, Are You Really There?
Today at the beach I observed a young girl, 11ish, as she stood with her sequin studded cell phone. Glittering pink and silver, her one hand held it firm as she bent down to push sand with her free hand into the bucket with which her little brother was playing. Standing up once again, she walked into the water, her fingers maneuvering her phone, data likely scrolling across her screen. I suspect she didn’t want to miss a message from a friend. Maybe the friend was afar, or maybe her friend was just steps away on the sand as she texted her to come and join her in the water.
One thing was certain. She wasn’t really here at the beach.
Aware that my cell phone sat inches away in my backpack, I wondered why I didn’t leave it at home. I came to the beach with my daughter Natalie, looking forward to spending time together. My elder daughter was in New York with her boyfriend and his family. So who did I need to talk with from here to where they were at this moment? With the anticipation of talking to someone afar, could I really BE here at the beach? I had longed for this excursion all morning, all week in fact. My desire was now a reality. But was I really in the moment at the beach?
There is truth in the title of the book by Jon Kabat-Zinn, “Wherever You Go, There You Are.” But if you are gripping your cell phone anticipating the next call or text, are you really there when you get wherever you go?
The water beckoned. I turned off my phone.
One thing was certain. She wasn’t really here at the beach.
Aware that my cell phone sat inches away in my backpack, I wondered why I didn’t leave it at home. I came to the beach with my daughter Natalie, looking forward to spending time together. My elder daughter was in New York with her boyfriend and his family. So who did I need to talk with from here to where they were at this moment? With the anticipation of talking to someone afar, could I really BE here at the beach? I had longed for this excursion all morning, all week in fact. My desire was now a reality. But was I really in the moment at the beach?
There is truth in the title of the book by Jon Kabat-Zinn, “Wherever You Go, There You Are.” But if you are gripping your cell phone anticipating the next call or text, are you really there when you get wherever you go?
The water beckoned. I turned off my phone.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Sleep Tips: Breathe Your Way to Sleep and Other Suggestions for Slumber
As The Sleep Ambassador™ (www.thesleepambassador.com), I am exposed to a wide array of sleep solutions. However, sometimes the simplest methods are the most effective. One caveat: If you have symptoms which might suggest a sleep disorder, be sure to check with your physician to determine if a sleep study or other evaluation is necessary. So, without a long dissertation about how to fall asleep, I have a few tips which can be very effective for easing into slumber:
Breathing- You are breathing anyway, so put your ATTENTION on the flow of the breath IN and the breath OUT. Don’t force the flow, just let it be natural. If you are really doing this and are focused on your breath, you will begin to relax. As a next step, be AWARE of the SPACE BETWEEN the breath in and the breath out. Don’t hold your breath, just be aware that the space exists. This as PRESENT as you can be and will help to settle your senses as you drift off to sleep. Bye the way, this technique is helpful in stressful situations as well.
Child’s Pose- I have found that getting into the yoga position known as “child’s pose” on top of my linens before getting under the covers is VERY calming and soothing before going to sleep. How long? A few moments or whatever feels good. When I do this, I can feel my whole body…and mind….begin to settle.
So, start simple and see what happens. The last thing we all need before bed is another complicated routine! And speaking of routines, there is a wealth of information on sleep tips (aka sleep hygiene) on various web sites.
Breathing- You are breathing anyway, so put your ATTENTION on the flow of the breath IN and the breath OUT. Don’t force the flow, just let it be natural. If you are really doing this and are focused on your breath, you will begin to relax. As a next step, be AWARE of the SPACE BETWEEN the breath in and the breath out. Don’t hold your breath, just be aware that the space exists. This as PRESENT as you can be and will help to settle your senses as you drift off to sleep. Bye the way, this technique is helpful in stressful situations as well.
Child’s Pose- I have found that getting into the yoga position known as “child’s pose” on top of my linens before getting under the covers is VERY calming and soothing before going to sleep. How long? A few moments or whatever feels good. When I do this, I can feel my whole body…and mind….begin to settle.
So, start simple and see what happens. The last thing we all need before bed is another complicated routine! And speaking of routines, there is a wealth of information on sleep tips (aka sleep hygiene) on various web sites.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Am I Celebrating?
It has been 6 years since Josh first communicated 17 Ways to Celebrate Life and I shared it as his birthday tribute. Each year thereafter, up until his 21st, Josh added a new way to celebrate life. (See the April 15, 2009 post below for 21 Ways to Celebrate Life.) Now, as another birthday…Josh’s 23rd …approaches, I remain committed to embracing life while it is mine, to being grateful for my many blessings and to be inspired by Josh. Along the way, there are moments of self reflection. One such moment came recently when thinking about Josh’s 21 Ways to Celebrate Life. I was struck with a question, “AM I CELEBRATING?” Until that instant I had not entertained this question. DOING any of Josh’s 21 ways is an act of honoring him but am I really CELEBRATING?
The answer was quickly apparent, catching me at the very essence of what I KNOW but do not always DO. By way of example, I selected one of the 21 Ways to Celebrate Life, #3. Run on the beach. Well, I was walking on the beach the other day. But was I REALLY engaged in the activity? Was I IN THE MOMENT, each moment? No, I was thinking about something I had to do or had done, or somebody….and the thought stream was endless. The “aha” moment followed….
Celebrating can ONLY happen IN THE MOMENT. What’s the rush to the next moment? And if I am in the past or the future as I have an experience, I never really have it. Reminder to self: LIFE HAPPENS NOW. To fully engage in any activity, to be fully immersed, I have to be in the moment, I have to surrender to what I am doing, feeling or thinking. That is where the celebration is found. That is where the magic of the moment is. Not in the past and not where I will be in a minute or two or tomorrow….but WHERE I AM NOW, at this instant. And this instant will NEVER come again. It is unique. Why would I want to miss it? And if it's not a happy moment or one of pleasure, the only way out of it is to go through it anyway. Knowing this motivates me to honor the now.
Another revelation came to me as well. The past happened and will not be repeated. Everything I already experienced was/is there, including Josh’s life. And Josh will not be physically in my future. But I can and do meet him IN THE NOW….when my awareness is fully in the moment. Maybe lately Josh has been coming to me in my dreams because I am not busy there. He can catch my attention in my dreams. And when he does, often very vividly, he talks to me and his expressions speak volumes. When awake, my mind is often active about the past and anticipating the future. At such times, I am missing the now…..until I catch myself and embrace the moment.
I must practice celebrating life consciously. I have a trick that helps me accomplish this and it works every time. I become aware of my breathing, in and out. And then, I become aware of THE SPACE BETWEEN my breath in and my breath out. I don’t hold my breath, but am just aware of that space. That is THE most present I can be. That is where and when I AM IN THE NOW. And that is where the celebration begins!
So, to honor Josh’s birthday this year and to CELEBRATE my life, I am going to practice making being in the moment a habit. What was already happened and I was already there. What will be has not happened so I can’t be there yet... NOW is THE only place to BE….and where celebrating life is possible.
The answer was quickly apparent, catching me at the very essence of what I KNOW but do not always DO. By way of example, I selected one of the 21 Ways to Celebrate Life, #3. Run on the beach. Well, I was walking on the beach the other day. But was I REALLY engaged in the activity? Was I IN THE MOMENT, each moment? No, I was thinking about something I had to do or had done, or somebody….and the thought stream was endless. The “aha” moment followed….
Celebrating can ONLY happen IN THE MOMENT. What’s the rush to the next moment? And if I am in the past or the future as I have an experience, I never really have it. Reminder to self: LIFE HAPPENS NOW. To fully engage in any activity, to be fully immersed, I have to be in the moment, I have to surrender to what I am doing, feeling or thinking. That is where the celebration is found. That is where the magic of the moment is. Not in the past and not where I will be in a minute or two or tomorrow….but WHERE I AM NOW, at this instant. And this instant will NEVER come again. It is unique. Why would I want to miss it? And if it's not a happy moment or one of pleasure, the only way out of it is to go through it anyway. Knowing this motivates me to honor the now.
Another revelation came to me as well. The past happened and will not be repeated. Everything I already experienced was/is there, including Josh’s life. And Josh will not be physically in my future. But I can and do meet him IN THE NOW….when my awareness is fully in the moment. Maybe lately Josh has been coming to me in my dreams because I am not busy there. He can catch my attention in my dreams. And when he does, often very vividly, he talks to me and his expressions speak volumes. When awake, my mind is often active about the past and anticipating the future. At such times, I am missing the now…..until I catch myself and embrace the moment.
I must practice celebrating life consciously. I have a trick that helps me accomplish this and it works every time. I become aware of my breathing, in and out. And then, I become aware of THE SPACE BETWEEN my breath in and my breath out. I don’t hold my breath, but am just aware of that space. That is THE most present I can be. That is where and when I AM IN THE NOW. And that is where the celebration begins!
So, to honor Josh’s birthday this year and to CELEBRATE my life, I am going to practice making being in the moment a habit. What was already happened and I was already there. What will be has not happened so I can’t be there yet... NOW is THE only place to BE….and where celebrating life is possible.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Souls and Soles
Today is October 7, 2009, the 7th anniversary of the day my son Josh's heart stopped beating...October 7, 2002...The day after he was struck by a car at age 15 1/2, never regaining earthly consciousness.
Yesterday as I sat at his graveside, the words that follow came to me. I share them here with you....
Those of us who walk
Here on hallowed ground
Should know that what we have
Is life to be lived.
For those Souls who lie
Beneath my soles
Harken to our heads
And beckon to our hearts.
That we who live
Choose life and love.
That is what I hear
From deep within my Soul.
As if the space is
Gone between us.
A silent voice tells me
All I need to know.
© 2009. Nancy H. Rothstein
May you find joy and abundant blessings today and every day.
Yesterday as I sat at his graveside, the words that follow came to me. I share them here with you....
Those of us who walk
Here on hallowed ground
Should know that what we have
Is life to be lived.
For those Souls who lie
Beneath my soles
Harken to our heads
And beckon to our hearts.
That we who live
Choose life and love.
That is what I hear
From deep within my Soul.
As if the space is
Gone between us.
A silent voice tells me
All I need to know.
© 2009. Nancy H. Rothstein
May you find joy and abundant blessings today and every day.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
21 Ways to Celebrate Life
Who better to suggest how to celebrate life than one for whom life is no longer on this earth but whose perspective is eternal. And so it was that Ways to Celebrate Life came to be. My son Josh was struck by a car and killed at age 15 ½ in 2002. My profound grief was tempered by a blessing. Josh began to communicate to me, often through my pen as he did before his 17th birthday on April 16, 2004. He gave me 17 Ways to Celebrate Life as a gift to share. For his earthly birthdays that followed, he offered an additional “way” to celebrate life. In honor of Josh's 22nd birthday, I share 21 Ways to Celebrate Life with you.
1. Smile. Smiling makes you and those around you feel good. If you don’t feel good, a smile can trick your brain into feeling better.
2. Eat ice cream.
3. Run on the beach. If you can’t physically do this, use your imagination.
4. Call someone who is ill or lonely. Listen to their story. Take the time. Tell them your story, if they ask.
5. Listen to music that touches your heart and soul.
6. Sing in the shower, or out loud if you are comfortable.
7. Visit the grave of a loved one and celebrate your continued BREATH. And tell your loved one what’s on your mind.
8. Play with a dog.
9. Thank yourself for putting up with all the things about yourself that drive you nuts! Activate your sense of humor!
10. Apologize to someone you have wronged in any way.
11. Take a day, or even a few hours, “off” to do something you always want to do but never take the time to do.
12. Eat something you never indulge in (unless allergic!) and savor every bite….slowly. No guilt permitted!
13. Re-watch your favorite funny or happy movie in your most comfortable clothes.
14. Make plans with 2 friends that you are crazy about but never see…near or far away.
15. Go outdoors to a natural setting. Sit. Close your eyes. Listen to the world. It’s all an extension of you! Your breath connects you intrinsically to the world.
16. Laugh. Do something fun or silly that evokes laughter. It has been said that laughter is God’s sunshine.
17. Place this list in an envelope and revisit it periodically to see how you are celebrating YOURSELF! If you are good to yourself, you can be much better to those around you.
18. Go to your heart and make all your decisions from there and all will be well.
19. Follow the path that matters.
20. Believe and feel the change you want to see and you will BE the change you envision.
21. Yet you must know that in the end, it is love’s garden you must tend.
An epiphany would come to me soon after sending out Josh’s 21st birthday tribute last April 16, 2008. #21 would be the last “way.” Josh would not communicate a 22nd Way to Celebrate Life for his 22nd birthday. This was clear. With the addition of #21, there was nothing more to say. For we “must know that in the end”…as well as in the beginning and in the middle… “it is love’s garden we must tend.” It is ALL about love. And when we really think and act from love, which ways 1 through 20 help us cultivate, life will be a garden of celebration…..and we will honor Josh and all beings, both those alive and those for whom breath and a heartbeat are no more.
I hope Josh’s 21 Ways to Celebrate Life will resonate for you, bringing inspiration and joy. In this Light, I hope to perpetuate ways to celebrate life today, tomorrow and always. The list is now yours to use and to share. From Josh and his Mom, happy celebrating!
Friday, January 30, 2009
My Most Valuable Real Estate
It hit me like a ton of bricks, a revelation that catapulted me to new meaning for a theme I have heard, read and tried to integrate into my life: You attract what you think and your thoughts become things. The Secret made me most aware of this truth. Incorporating it into my head and being VERY conscious of the thoughts I entertain and elaborate on has been another story.
Last week I took a book from my bookcase to reread, Ancient Secret of the Fountain of Youth, in which the “lost chapter” spoke once again about this ever present theme: “Whether you realize it or not, you create and shape your life with your thoughts. All things that become part of your physical reality are first created in the mind from the raw material called thought.” Thoughts become things. In The Secret, it is written “Your life is a mirror of the dominant thoughts you think.” Inherent in The Law of Attraction described in The Secret is that humans “have the power to intentionally think and create their entire life with their mind.” and that “Your thoughts are the primary cause of everything.” I understood the concept. Sure, I want to have all wonderful thoughts and a wonderful life as a result! Putting this concept into action is not so easy.
And then it hit me this morning, an epiphany that would shift my consciousness…and help me actually be more selective with my thoughts to attract the life I envision. I was thinking about some people in my life who cause me great suffering, disappointment and stress…especially when I think about them. WHY IN THE WORLD DO I GIVE THEM SO MUCH OF MY REAL ESTATE? That was it. It had suddenly and clearly occurred to me that MY BRAIN IS REAL ESTATE. The most valuable real estate I have in this lifetime, along with my body which enables me to be here. My brain is the place through which my THOUGHTS flow. My brain is the structure through which my thoughts come and from which I ATTRACT what I think about. So, I said to myself with a chuckle, “Why am I giving so much of my real estate….my MIND, my foundation from which I build my life…..to people and situations that are toxic and not life supporting for me?” Those who/that make me FEEL badly and put me on a negative frequency do not merit my attention, my thoughts. Just feeling badly is a sign that I am building a building I do not want to dwell in. If my thoughts are the building blocks, the bricks, from which I create my life, I must choose them to mirror the vision that I want my life to be. An ah ha moment had arrived.
When I contemplated and felt what this meant, I knew there was a shift in my brain. It was as if I had painted a room in a different color, a hue that was welcoming and bright. The sun was shining on my real estate! Since this morning, I have a new perspective. I can choose to be more discerning about what thoughts I entertain and develop, about the thoughts I choose to develop. I can be more conscious of just how destructive negative thoughts can become when I build them up and let them inhabit a permanent place in my life. We can’t stop an initial thought from arising, from popping into our brains, but we can CHOOSE not to let it develop further. Good bye to thoughts that are building blocks that do not reflect the reality, dreams and joy that I choose for my life.
Yes, my brain is like real estate, precious property, and I have the choice of what to build in and on it. I have the ability to discern what buildings I want to occupy my mind and who I want to dwell in them with me. I am excited about my real estate in a way I would have never imagined, thanks to a thought which popped into my brain and which I chose…wisely I think…to build upon. Starting today, I am going to put the highest value possible on my most valuable real estate.
© 2009. Nancy H. Rothstein
Last week I took a book from my bookcase to reread, Ancient Secret of the Fountain of Youth, in which the “lost chapter” spoke once again about this ever present theme: “Whether you realize it or not, you create and shape your life with your thoughts. All things that become part of your physical reality are first created in the mind from the raw material called thought.” Thoughts become things. In The Secret, it is written “Your life is a mirror of the dominant thoughts you think.” Inherent in The Law of Attraction described in The Secret is that humans “have the power to intentionally think and create their entire life with their mind.” and that “Your thoughts are the primary cause of everything.” I understood the concept. Sure, I want to have all wonderful thoughts and a wonderful life as a result! Putting this concept into action is not so easy.
And then it hit me this morning, an epiphany that would shift my consciousness…and help me actually be more selective with my thoughts to attract the life I envision. I was thinking about some people in my life who cause me great suffering, disappointment and stress…especially when I think about them. WHY IN THE WORLD DO I GIVE THEM SO MUCH OF MY REAL ESTATE? That was it. It had suddenly and clearly occurred to me that MY BRAIN IS REAL ESTATE. The most valuable real estate I have in this lifetime, along with my body which enables me to be here. My brain is the place through which my THOUGHTS flow. My brain is the structure through which my thoughts come and from which I ATTRACT what I think about. So, I said to myself with a chuckle, “Why am I giving so much of my real estate….my MIND, my foundation from which I build my life…..to people and situations that are toxic and not life supporting for me?” Those who/that make me FEEL badly and put me on a negative frequency do not merit my attention, my thoughts. Just feeling badly is a sign that I am building a building I do not want to dwell in. If my thoughts are the building blocks, the bricks, from which I create my life, I must choose them to mirror the vision that I want my life to be. An ah ha moment had arrived.
When I contemplated and felt what this meant, I knew there was a shift in my brain. It was as if I had painted a room in a different color, a hue that was welcoming and bright. The sun was shining on my real estate! Since this morning, I have a new perspective. I can choose to be more discerning about what thoughts I entertain and develop, about the thoughts I choose to develop. I can be more conscious of just how destructive negative thoughts can become when I build them up and let them inhabit a permanent place in my life. We can’t stop an initial thought from arising, from popping into our brains, but we can CHOOSE not to let it develop further. Good bye to thoughts that are building blocks that do not reflect the reality, dreams and joy that I choose for my life.
Yes, my brain is like real estate, precious property, and I have the choice of what to build in and on it. I have the ability to discern what buildings I want to occupy my mind and who I want to dwell in them with me. I am excited about my real estate in a way I would have never imagined, thanks to a thought which popped into my brain and which I chose…wisely I think…to build upon. Starting today, I am going to put the highest value possible on my most valuable real estate.
© 2009. Nancy H. Rothstein
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