Markers in our Memory..Lessons from 9-11

As the 10th anniversary of 9-11 approaches, the memories and sense of loss reverberate in America, and around the world. Each year since those horrid acts of terror, we remember. But somehow in years like the 5th, the 10th and in those multiples to come, there is a heightened tendency to explore the past and examine the path experienced by those most affected. We could not have had the same perspective about "the children of 9-11" just a few years after the tragedy in which parents were lost to the rubble and lives were forever changed. But with the passage of time, stories evolve and interest is sparked to learn from those who have suffered, survived and in so many cases thrived against all odds. Certainly those who have transformed adversity into meaningful ways to honor loved ones who died have inspired us with their courage to endure.

For those of us who observed 9-11 and the anguish of others....albeit overcome as well with a sense of communal grief...what have we learned over these past 10 years? Has our observation of acts of terror and the example set by survivors, heroes who risked their lives to save others and the families who have marched forward with dignity and grace changed our behavior? Changed our views? About life? About death?

Are we more grateful for our blessings? Are we more appreciative about life? Do we LIVE more fully? Are we more loving to our families and beyond? Can we be in the present where there may be nothing to fear? Can we heal? Is there hope? Have we become more compassionate to those in need, of a hug or a hand? We are all in this together while we are alive....and even thereafter.

Has our perspective on death changed? As humans, when faced with death of a loved one, we can sink into an abyss. That is sometimes the only place to go at first. But what lifts us from sinking further? From the quicksand of pain into which we can be disappear? It is love. It is hope. It is faith. It is a connection to those who have left us here. It is knowing that a Soul never dies. It is having faith that maybe, just maybe there is more than here. It is knowing that the horror or pain that the loved one had to endure is now over. That they are at peace. That they never have to live the horror or pain again...if that was the nature of their death. Yet, for all who die.....and each of us will....we leave the physical realm that we know as life. They are just a breath, a heartbeat away.....and oh so close. Believing this possiblity is a steppingstone to knowing this, to connecting to a loved one who has passed on.....and to taking the trauma out of the grief.

Unexpected and tragic loss is tremendously challenging. People face this throughout the world, loved ones killed daily in war, in violence and in accidents. Yet, most of these deaths are far from the press and from the eyes and ears of the public. So, when you say a prayer for those who died because of 9-11, add in a spark of recognition for those who also left this world...and their loved ones...without our knowing about them. They share the infinity of eternity.