STOP. LISTEN.

Today, October 7, 2008, is 6 years since my son, my precious son Joshua, died at 11:17 AM. On October 6, 2002, Josh was walking along a suburban sidewalk on a Sunday afternoon. En route to the pharmacy to buy a snack and finding it closed, he turned around to go to his tutoring appointment. I had just left him after buying shoes for school and sports. I had no idea of the tragedy that was about to strike Josh.

A teen made an illegal U-turn in the intersection, cutting off an elderly driver who, meaning to avoid the teen’s unexpected and obstructing vehicle, accelerated at full speed….flying up over the curb and striking Josh forcefully on what had been a peaceful sidewalk. Thrown up against a concrete wall, Josh then fell to the sidewalk and lay unconscious. Consciousness would not greet him again in this lifetime. After heroic brain surgery and intense prayer from a loving, devoted family and rabbis, his heart would sing its final beat the next morning.

Mourning and grief would join his family….and friends around the world. I would continue to mother Josh, to nurture and to embrace him in new ways. I would continue to live. I would be blessed knowing that “this isn’t it” and that Josh was only a breath, a heartbeat away.

At times, unsolicited, Josh would begin to speak through my pen. And I would begin to write what came through my pen without effort, words that would convey the sorrow in my heart, as well as the teachings I was learning and the vision that would enrich my life while my breath and my heartbeat continued.

I have read the piece below to friends over the past 5 years. Now, with my new mode of communication, I share it in print with you…….

STOP. LISTEN.

At Memorial Park Cemetery where Josh is buried.
September 7, 2003

Today I visited my son’s grave.
Today is 11 months on the calendar since the day he died at age 15 ½.

When you wish to find clarity of meaning and purpose in your life, meander through a cemetery as I did today.

There you will find solitude, along with sadness and perhaps pain and/or fear.
Yet I promise you if you listen to your inner voice and honor the essence of your Being,
You will be, if even momentarily, transformed.

Stop. Listen. Close your eyes for a moment. BE present. Walk again.

For you are still ALIVE.
You have choice of actions.
You can act from love or from anger.
You can look to the future with hope or with dread.

You are alive.
Your body still breathes, your heart continues its precious, life confirming beat.

And should memories of a loved one now dead inspire you with purpose and inspiration, or should the multitude of graves surrounding you announce your good fortune to be alive….Go forward, loving yourself, your life and all the living beings you encounter.

For life is a gift, time is fleeting and death will come with peace should you choose to honor and embrace life…..with love….NOW.

© 2003. Nancy H. Rothstein